Anyone remember the elections? Anyone care? Seems like there was such a fuss for a couple weeks there and now, nothing. Here’s my “fun” story.
couple weeks or so before elections in a town I wish wasn’t this one…
Dazzled up, gram and gramp poseurs, sipping wine with a crooked pinky pointed upward, no one holding doors open for each other or bothering to mind the unspoken rule of first come first serve. It was a damn senior circus, I was just waiting for the butt pinch and wink from the clacking set of dentures sitting behind me. I was comfortable in jeans and a loose button up shirt but apparently everyone else was in competition for the best made suit or dress using shag carpet and flannel blankets.
We finally grab a seat, and believe me, the old ones may look slow at first but it’s a battle dodging swinging walkers and darting canes. The table display was nothing out of my league, just a plate, glass, few enough eating utensils to keep me from being confused, and… pom poms? What the hell? I don’t even drink but when the “master mom” of yesteryear grabbed the mic and initiated the rally’s adolescent cheers, I was searching for the bottle.
I’m scarred for life. This was no campaign; it was modern day euthanasia. “Just end it now,” was all I could think. I did like the food, one of the two highlights of the night but please, this is me we’re talking about… when don’t I like food? Second highlight of the night: seeing this one dude with an eye patch. “Spill the diamonds 007, you aint foolin me, I know it’s fake.”